my oh my... look who's here...

my reason to go on living

2006-01-05T22:30:00.000+08:00

yeeeha!

2005-12-29T20:58:00.000+08:00

boring..

bluish-white christmas

2005-12-25T12:19:00.000+08:00

its christmas day. im supposed to be spending time with my friends and or families but instead, im here in the house left with the maid while taking care of my baby.

Everyone knows that i got pregnant and had given birth on the 11th of this month. and though 2 weeks it has been, i havent gotten enough sleep yet due to breastfeeding, changing nappies, rocking the baby and some more mothering ways. i aint complaining, dont get me wrong. its just that i am missing my 'childhood' or should i say dalaga days, those times when i wasnt pregnant and a mother yet.

this nostalgic feeling hit me last night when i was dressing up for the 10pm pre- christmas mass in a nearby church in our neighborhood. i asked permission from my mother hours before getting dressed and she said yes but when i was in my act of dressing, she suddenly refused to let me go. she said it was cold outside and i might get binat. i was saddened, of course. it even made me shed a tear but then dj arrived and heroically agreed to stay with me till 1 in the morning.

when i was pregnant, i often wondered what eastwood and gb3 would look. God, my socialite friends keep on making stories about Embassy, the newest place to be. Heaven knows my feet haven't landed that place yet. All i know is it's located at The Fort (please correct me if im wrong) .

Make Ortigas' Metrowalk an exception. i worked in Ortigas for 2 months while i was conceiving so that gave me the perfect excuse to take a glimpse of the place every now and then.

i may sound pathetic to you for this blahs on gimmick places. but mind yah, those aren't the ones i only miss but those bonding sessions with my TRUE friends.

Niners we call ourselves. because we live in the 9th building of BLISS. we've known each other since our pre-school days. and now, the end of our teenage lives are about to end. yet, we are still here for eachother. though lots and lots of fuckin circumstances happened and i did numerous of kalokohans, they are still here for me. supporting me all the way up in this new phase of my life.

so generally, i miss my sinlgehood days. those times when i can just leave this house and chill in any of my friends' house or jam in a place nearby or dance the night away at any gimmickan. though i know life will never be the same again, i am certain that im not regretting any of this. my baby, dj, making huge sacrifices (e.g. working, staying up late) cause at the end of the day when youre already feeling so sluggish and lazy, with the want to give up and u see the smile on your byngs and bonnbonns face, ahhhh, the labor paid off. life is still worth living. and aslong as i have them, theres no need for eastwood or any of that shit. dj and bonnbonn are already enough to make me whole as a person (plus the never ending support of my family and friends) . christmases will always be worth the celebration, despite its mood and color.

How To Deal

2005-12-23T07:51:00.000+08:00

Sometimes a man has to choose
And do something he doesn't wanna do
Do I live my life with you as my wife
Or do I go on and pursue my lifetime dreamI gotta do this for me
Cuz if I don't I'll probably regret it
But if I do I'll probably regret it
How do I cope

How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody elseA
nd there's nothing you could do about it
How do I deal with
The fact that you had a chance
But you chose to turn away for your career
I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'
It's something that I had to do
But nobody said that it would hurt so bad
So how do I live...how do I deal without you

It's killing me to know
That your heart hurts with me
But you're with him cause I chose
To be in this industry
Money, shows, and hoes come along with luxury and pain
Is all you see when you think about it
But this is the life that I was given
So I have to live it to the fullest
But how do I deal in the meantime without you

How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody else
And there's nothing you could do about it
How do I deal with
The fact that you had a chance
But you chose to turn away for your career
I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'
It's something that I had to do
But nobody said that it would hurt so bad
So how do I live...how do I deal without you

mama ghia

2005-12-22T13:15:00.000+08:00

gus2 mo picture ng baby? e2 pakita ko..
namputa ang hirap pala maging nanay.. hmph! pero okay lang.. rewarding naman.. bigla ko tuloy na aprec8 mga hirap ng nanay ko.. at nanay ko ang nagbayad ng hospital bills.. infairness din mahal na mahal niya baby ko..

d pogi anak ko.. haha.. ang itim-itim! tapos ang laki ng nose and eyes.. punyeta.. ang lakas talaga ng dugo ng mga miranda.. mukhang walang nakuha sa ganda ko.. hmph!

san ako nakatira? sa nanay ko.. dito din si dij everyday.. infairness,, mhal niya anak niya..

ung samen naman ni dij.. ay,, ewan. yoko mag-lie.. well, mhal ko sha.. napabago niya ko.. naging faithful ako, maniwala ka man o hindi.. pero sha ung nagbago eh.. ewan ko ba.. yoko magdeny kasi alam kong magiging okay din ako.. i am strong not because i have to be but because a certain someone is making me strong. sino un? edi si bonn-bonn! hayaan mo siya.. wala akong panahon mag-amok kasi busy ako sa pagtitimpla ng gatas at pagpapalit ng diaper. pero shempre pag nababakante tong isip ko at naaalala ko siya, nalulungkot din ako.. sayang kasi ung mga hirap namin. un nga lng, sabi nga ng nanay ko, wag mamilit!!

(andami nyong tanong)

oo masakit manganak.. ay di manganak, masakit magLabor.. punyeta.. parang sasabog puson ko.. un pala cs delivery din.. pero, bikini cut ang tahi! haha.. para mkapag 2-piece swimsuit pa..

pumayat na ko.. sharring.. o sige, next time na ulet.. takas lang tong pag iinternet ko eh..

i labyu kup, ciel, popol, win, tinay, sarah, anne, gaux at madami pang iba... salamat kasi d nyo ko iniwan nung mga panahong walang-wala ako.. don't worry ganon din ako sa inyo..

love u mga kupalsssss!!!

last day of work..

2005-10-20T04:44:00.000+08:00

hah.. last day ko na sa trabaho ngayon.. kaya lulubos-lubusin ko na. di ko na talaga kaya eh.. hirap mabuntis noh.. baka din lumipat kame ni dj sa may lagro..

astig noh.. ngayong buntis pa ko nagka call center experience.. well ngayon ko lang naman talaga kailangan magtrabaho.. kasi dati ung sa abs-cbn para lang akong naglalaro..

ang hirap mabuntis..
ang hirap ng walang trabaho..
ang hirap mabuhay sa mundo..

ah basta.. kahit anong mangyari sakin lam ko magkakasama lang kaming tatlo (bonn, daniel and i). aba, kami pa! eh wala yatang pagsubok ang di naman kinaya.. gutom man, kulungan, pagpapalayas, sermon ng mga boss, snatch sa jeep at kung anu-ano pan kagaguhan at kamalasan.. aba!! partners ata kame ni daniel.. at ngayon may isa pa kaming kakampi.. si bonn quintin nathaniel aytut.. haha..

o cge,, break na.. mamaya ulet.. may 30-minute date lang kami ni sir aldous.. last day eh..

balik ako.. PROMISE!!

2005-10-20T04:41:00.000+08:00

mr. lacto.... =)

diosdada

ang boyfriend na under

ang aking sir aldous na babaero

si bong na laging heartbroken

megaphone ng apogee

si mr. mp3, basketball coordinator at nice guy

byng

2005-10-14T10:09:00.000+08:00

panget!

gago!

aytut mhal na mhal kita kahit kupal ka..

tanda nyo pa 2???

2005-10-13T08:10:00.000+08:00

"I can't let you see what you mean to me. Cause my hands are tied and my heart's not free."

hala.. reminiscing.. reminiscing lang ah.. am forever committed kay bonn2.
lalang.. bigla lang sumapak sa isip ko ung taong may connection sa line na to.. musta na kaya sya.. lam ko dami padin shang girlets (as usual).. at base sa isang reliable source, wala siyang pkialam sa aming past. ouch noh?

ewan ko ba bakit naadpad tong isipan ko dun sa taong un.. eh wala naman shang kwenta at ewan ko din kung bakit ko sha nagustuhan noon. haii.. ah basta..

♪♪♪catch a ________ and put it in your pocket, never let it slip away ♪♪♪

may kkwen2 aq sa inyo bukas... tungkol dun sa reaction sa " live-in" thing.. duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cam whoring in the office

2005-10-12T08:06:00.000+08:00

ugly ni buntis..
insane parents
ugly daddy

sa office...

2005-10-12T06:12:00.000+08:00

joan - ang aking matapang na officemate.. =)
tatay ed - matipuno at gwapo.. hehe..

about 5 in the morning.. =)

big tummy.. 7 mos...

2005-10-08T06:53:00.000+08:00

big tummy noh?? hehe.. infairness witchell pang stretchmarks.. hah!! still scared of labor pains though.

onga pala..CONFIRMED na BOY baby ko.. as in dj jr. yuck! nakita ko ung scrotum and penis sa ultra sound.. and ang tangos ng nose niya!! sobrang nice talaga.. duh.. malamang.. dahil panay ilong kame ni dj dba? hehe.. at ag ung anak namen lumaki ng walang ilong eh di na namin anak un.. baka napagpalit na un sa hospital..

what if the baby doesn't look like me?? what if he get all his features from his dad? ang sad! hmph! kainis tlga.. sana kay dij nalang talent, knowledge and skills.. tapos akin ung features pwera height. diba?

STILL HOpING FOR A BABY GIRL THOUGH

yipee..

2005-10-07T06:37:00.000+08:00

hmm.. meron na kaming fridge and stove!! haha.. katas ng unang sweldo ata un.. but the stove isn't fully paid yet. haha..

the usual,, im in the office.. ouch tummy ko.. buhuhu.. hehe.. uy, infairness umaasenso na kame.. (my crush is currently beside me.. KILEG!!!) oops, si dj nasa likod ko.. bka ma-aning nanaman yun..

uy lamo ba, ang likot na ng baby ko.. hmph! minsan to the point na di na ko makatulog.. si daniel naman tuwang-tuwa kasi ang bibo daw ng anak niya.. mana daw sa kanya.. like duh!! sya kaya ung anti-social at ako ung bibo... diba po?

nakakamiss ang laking niners..hmph! dun kasi sa bahay namen ni dj lagi akong walang kausap eh.. sha nalang ng sha.. hmph!! wla pa namang t.v. expensive un eh.. inuna namin ung fridge and stove.. d kasi practical if bili ng bili ng food AND di naman tayo sure if clean yung kinakain nating food from anywhere. buntis pa naman ako..

cno ba jang may extra t.v. sa bahay? pootangina!! pahiram naman.. kahit black n white papa2lan ko na.. d na nga ako nakakanuod ng PINOY BIG BROTHER EH.. update nyo naman ako mga chong.. ikaw ISAY ,, alam kong suki ka ng blog ko at mayaman ka.. pahiram naman ng television dude.. utang na loob.. may isang linggo narin akong di nakakapanood ng tv.. ung radio nga namen de-baterya pa eh.. hmph!!

okie okie.. enough.. basta sa mga may extra jan na appliances or gamit sa bahay magdonate naman kayo.. salamat.. =)

magpaspot naman kayo mga chong.. mabubulok na ko sa boredom... (labo)

byng

2005-10-07T06:13:00.000+08:00

i love you byng.. kahit panget ka.. =)

2005-10-01T07:23:00.000+08:00

c dij daw yan.. asus!! MASHADONG CUTE YAN!! =) labyu byng

moved out, then in...

2005-09-21T04:36:00.000+08:00

pinalayas aq, edi umalis.. pinalayas si dij edi umalis din sha.. kaya walang magrereact jan ng kung anong kakupalan..
besides, keber ko naman sa sasabihin mo.. selos ka lng.. haha.. d lang selos.. inggit kapa.. to hell with you..

Sometimes you have to let your heart lead you, even if its leading you to a place you are not supposed to be in........

sleepy..

2005-09-15T06:08:00.000+08:00

hehe.. im at the office..

officemates kame ni byng.. hala.. d na naghiwalay.. aus shift namen.. 3am-9am..

wala lng.. yipee.. sumweldo na q.. kaso for 5 days lng.. cut off kASI EH.. kainis.. nga pla.. may crush aq d2 sa office.. hehe.. he's so überly cutie.. migosh.. sabi nia ang bait q daw ang pretty pa.. hala.. aning nanaman ako.. kalandian strikes again..

bad3p ako ngayon.. kasi naman eh.. kupal si dj.. am too depressed to elaborate..

onga pla 7 months na si bonn2.. ykee.. hehe.. 2 more months to go.. hala.. d2 na si sir.. gotta go..

i love my bonn bonn so much

for kup

2005-09-09T16:11:00.000+08:00

ayan na kup.. ganyan aq kataba at kapanget.. san kpa? pero humanda ka pag aq nanganak,, maiinlove ka saken.. (achoooo!!) hehe.. labyu

byng

2005-09-05T12:59:00.000+08:00

dahil alam kong ayaw mo mashado ng english language, itatagalog q nalang.. so beAR with me..

walang magawa as usual.. at dahil iniisip kita.. para sayo toh..
hay naku.. ang hirap humagilap ng pera noh? lalo na ngayong alam nating walang tumutulong satin (pakshit talaga). kainis kasi eh.. pero sabagay,, di naman talaga nila responsibilidad ang pakainin at buhayin itong anak natin.. oks lang un.. atleast kinakaya pa at humihinga pa naman si bonnbonn.. salamat nga pala.. kasi nanjan ka sa tuwing may kakupalan na dadating sa buhay ko.. salamat din kasi di mo pinapabayaan si bonn2, lagi ka gumagawa ng paraan para lagi sha maging ok..

hah.. bilib nga aq sayo eh, kahit ilang beses na kita ginago, go ka padin sa paglolove sakin. walang sawa mo padin ako minamahal.. pero wag ka magalala, alam din naman ng lahat na mahal na mahal kita at sure ako alam mo din un..

kahit na may kakupalan ka, kahit na lagi mo ko binabadtrip at inaasar at kahit na niloko mo q noon (ahem!), dito padin tayong dalawa,, going strong at di mo naman madedeny na super happy tayo diba?

lam qng madami pang dadaan na trials pero siguro naman kaya na nating dalawa un.. tayo pa.. sa hirap ba naman ng mga binato satin ng Diyos..

at,, 2009 nga diba? =)

mahal na mahal kita..

kakupalan

2005-08-27T15:22:00.000+08:00

slept at his place last night.. sharring..

sa wakas

2005-08-22T15:07:00.000+08:00

yipee!! a real computer atlast..

happy anniv byng..

happy 6 mos. bonn bonn dear.. stay healthy.. love you

FOR MARGA: hoy gaga.. can't spill this directly on your face but let me tell you that pete gets hurt everytime we talk about the original heART a.k.a heart1.. promise.. kaw kasi eh..

d aq nkpagblog for a long tym.. grr.. lang computer sa house. dinala sa office.. leche..

THURSDAY: was our 1st yr anniv. wla lng.. was supposed to hear mass with him but he kept on teasing me and i got pikon so we both stayed in our homes.

FRIDAY: no classes for the school kids because of manuel quezons bday..

SATURDAY: was a bum at djs house.. watched tv, did s0me lovey-dovey (eeww), ate period

SUNDAY: went to la vista, proj.4 and heard mass with who else..

gonna see my bonn2 on wednesday.. am überly excited
love u so much bonn and byng.. *aytut*

imma kill boredom..

2005-08-11T20:41:00.000+08:00

an a-z survey from friendster..

A- Age of 1st kiss- real one? gr.7 ata..
B- Band you are listening to right now- wla
C- Crush- wala
D- DadS name- rossano..
E- Easiest person/s to talk to- dj.. =)
F- Favorite ice cream- classic cookies n cream.. yum!!!
G- Gummy worms or gummy bears?- gummy worms neon..
H- Home town- qc
I- Instruments- im a frustrated guitarist..
J- Junior high- huh??
K- Kids- 1.. still in my womb.. =)
L- Longest car ride ever- 10-12 hours ata..
M- MomS name- gina catherine
N- Nickname at home- iyatot
O- One wish- spend forever with my babies..
P- Phobia- cant think of anything at the moment..
Q- Quote- quote the unquotable quote.. wehh!!
R- Reason to smile- dj
S- Song you sang last- i love u, goodbye
T- Time you woke up today- 6:30 am
U- Unknown fact about me- i am real
V- Vegetable you dislike- I'll eat anything basta Im hungry
W- Worst habit- bugbog si dj lagi.. wawa =(
X- Xrays uve had- is the ultrasound considered an x-ray? if so, monthly..
Y- Your least favorite person- no one in particular..
Z-Zodiac sign- aquarius

a must read.. minsan minsan lng toh..

2005-08-11T20:19:00.000+08:00

Many events in my life had to unfold, unravel and fall into place. Now i look back at my childhood with a warm acceptance of life's purposes and how the issues then have fed my heart and molded my character as a whole person and as a soon-to-be-mother. I thought Mama and i had a love-hate relationship. And I know that I still wont understand some of her mothering ways until i fully become one. Now i realize that our fights stemmed from loving too much.

Single parenting is a tough task of trying to make life's imperfections connect... making ends meet. Sleepless nights, working out the past and dealing with the present... alone.

There were reasons why Mama would often come home upset. How i resented then! NOw i know it wasn't just her being overworked. It was life. Coping. The pain of having to hide pain.

BUt, of course, each chapter ends and is neatly filed away in a safe place as we get better and stronger at dealing with life's crises. I look back and see that he aches of the past have been reduced (take note: reduced) to pleasant memoirs that bring back certain feelings that only Mama could soothe. And when I see the look and fulfillment in her eyes, it assures me that finally our life's imperfections have connected.

sad..

2005-08-10T10:11:00.000+08:00

AGAIN, jobless... buhuhuhuhu... the doctor didn't allow me to have a job because of my condition.. duh.. are we talking sense here? where am i supposed to get money for my vitamins and shit? huh..

whatever.. there's this guy who has been calling me for several nights in a row.. and take note, he's well aware that i'm conceiving.. WEIRD.. well, i don't wanna make patol.. why should i? when i have a wonderful guy beside me..

ooops.. i read somebodys blog today.. she admitted that she still has an eye for my boyfriend.. the word here is STILL.. so, who must that person be? hmmmmm................

it sure is hard to accept early motherhood (like what i always say, duh) but i know that the moment i deliver my baby, all wounds will heal. my wounds and my familys.

kaya q pa naman.. ghia pa!